Lost, lost, lost, Found – Its like duck duck goose for adults except that the game gets more trying as you get older.

Are you ever surprised by how a certain circumstance can make you feel; a certain person, a certain place, a certain situation?  I used to think of myself as this ‘strong, in-control of my emotions, brave woman,’ and yet these days I feel wrapped in a sensitive outer layer, almost as if I am covered in bubble wrap.  Perhaps this is a product of circumstances.

It is those days that you run into that person, you visit a certain place, listen to a song and you are instantly brought back to a memory that feels so real.  It is those times you make a choice thinking it will make you feel one way, and yet you experience the opposite emotion.   We are all such a product of our lives, our circumstances, our experiences; and this isn’t necessarily such a bad thing.

I think about who I was at a certain point in my life, and forget that although I may have been that person then, I am not the same person now.  I would not necessarily make the same decisions, and if I did I will not react exactly the same, for “better” or for “worse.”  Although I believe that ultimately it is all for “better,” because each of those situations pushes us to become more of who we truly are.

I find that it is those decisions we make that are the hardest, or those places we run into that hurt the most, that are the ones to expose our true colors.  These are the situations that cause transformation to take place.  To feel the blood pump through your veins, to feel like the emotion and the pain makes your blood curdle while shaking you alive simultaneously, is when you know you are moving forward.  Nobody likes to be vulnerable, especially in our society, and yet this is part of the process.  This is part of getting a little further along.